Jul 26 2007
Hurricane Preparedness
It’s only a matter of time before a hurricane threatens the United States. Here are a few tips from The Onion:
Hurricane Preparedness
What are some of the hurricane-season pointers outlined by the National Hurricane Center?
Place all bouyant possessions safely in basement.
If you live in a mobile home, break it up into small, non-lethal debris before storm hits.
Throughout hurricane season, call your parents each day and let them know you’re still alive.
If you see a suspicious-looking hurricane sitting unattended, notify the National Weather Service immediately.
To protect your skin from the harmful effects of hurricanes, wear at least a grade 15 stormscreen.
Hurricanes named after women tend to build in pressure as the days go by, finally exploding into a rage; hurricanes named after men are shorter in duration, but never seem to be aware of how much pain they cause.
Florida residents, vote yes on Proposition 84 to put a hurricane-proof dome over your state.
Listen to your local radio station for weather updates and potential REO Speedwagon broadcasts.
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