Oct 09 2008
Typical Trip to Wells Fargo
So I needed quarters to do laundry yesterday, which means I needed to go to the bank. Thankfully, “my” bank is still in business. The exchange is below, with my thoughts in brackets [].
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Me: I’d like to withdraw $10 in quarters from my checking account please.
Teller: Can you slide your card and enter your PIN?
Me: I don’t have a card or a PIN.
Teller: Oh… (dumb expression)
Manager: You have to do this the old way. Do you know your account number?
Me: (Account number)
Teller: Whoa. You have a lot of money in your checking account. Are you interested in opening a savings account?
Me: No. [And thanks for advertising to the rest of the people in here that I have "a lot of money"... which is actually untrue.]
Teller: Okay. I need to see your ID.
Me: Okay. [No you don't. But here it is.]
Teller: You know, with a savings account you’ll earn interest…
Me: Uh huh. [I know how much money I have in my account. So do you. I know what interest rate I'd get from your bank (0.1%). You probably do. I know how much interest I'd make during a year. I'm not sure you can multiply.]
Manager: Why do have so much money in your checking account?
Me: Saving. [Give me my goddamn quarters!]
Manager: For what?
Me: (Without thinking) A car. [None of your goddamn business!] (I already have a car, and have no intention of buying another one.)
Manager: You know, we could set you up with a loan…
Me: [Giving loans to people who can't repay them. Isn't that how you got in this mess to begin with?]
Teller places quarters on the counter, I grab them and run.
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2 Responses to “Typical Trip to Wells Fargo”
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Just tell them you plan to write a check to install a new tub in the master bath next month. That works for me.
(Seriously. It works. Claiming to install skylights works too.)
The described attitude - though not the precise experience - is part of why I don’t have an account at Wells Fargo anymore. That and their asinine insistence (several years ago) that an ARM would surely, surely be the best of all possible ways I could finance a house (no, I didn’t end up getting an ARM - a fact which has more to do with the failure of institutions like Wells Fargo to provide a non-word-salad explanation of what an ARM was than any particular foresight on my part).
I had similar issues with WaMu.